I’m nine days out from my period, and all of a sudden something in me changed. I know that if I described this feeling to anyone else, the majority of the population for instance, no one would have any clue what I was taking about. But it’s a very simple thing when I take a step back to analyze it: i know who I am. I’ve been with myself for thirty years. I know when I am Myself and when I am not the person I was meant to be. When I am suffering from my PMDD, regardless of medication, I am not the person I want to be. Tonight I was filled with this incredible mix of emotions–anger, sadness, resentment, dissatisfaction, love–all of these things that felt so overwhelming it was challenging to try to even be present. When these conflicting questions motions come, sometimes I don’t even know how to control them. I don’t know how to make sense of the. It feels like an alien has taken over my body, like Some foreign entity is filling me with these awful thoughts.
Pmdd isn’t premenstrual syndrome. It’s hell.